To Be a Nightowl in A Small Town

So, ever since I was about 16, I've become someone who stays up really late.

Sometimes this is because I simply stay duo too late or slept in too much from the night/morning before. But, even though this is when I tend to do my best work for writing and art and the like, there are also some definite downsides to being a nightowl.

#1: Unless You Have Friends Who Are Also Nightowls, You're the Only One Awake
This has happened to me on a number of occasions. Most of my friends are either early birds naturally, or they're forced to be because of school. As for me, early is about 8:30 or 9 because I'm usually up until 2 or 3 in the morning. What sucks is if my thoughts start getting dark, everyone is asleep and the one person I know I could call (let's call him Zayn because, let's face it, he's still attractive to me) is the only person I can't and shouldn't call.
Moving on.

#2: You Tend to Want to Go Walk Somewhere, But If You're Female, Forget It.
Like, seriously, there's this cool place in town I love to go near our local train tracks. I actually used to go with Zayn when we were younger, before things got messy, and I always have this sense of freedom whenever I'm near or on the tracks. We used to go together really late and sometimes my brother or sister or another friend would tag along. Nowadays I sometimes still feel the urge to go there and feel the wind on my face,to feel dangerous and free and alive. But, because I'm a woman, going alone sucks. Referring back to numero uno, my friends are usually sleeping and it's like 1am and I know if I go, I'll get jumped or something. Bad idea.

#3: If You're Like Me, Your Thoughts Wander Too Far and Too Deep
I have dark days, but mostly I'm alright. It's alright night though that the darkness feels more like a breathing thing that sometimes feels like it's going to crack me open from the inside. I know that sounds HELLA depressing, but anxiety and depression is something I have to deal with every day. I'm not saying this for pity, it's just simply fact. I'm not in too deep; I need meds and a consistent Journaling system, especially in poetry, but for the most part I'm fine. Late night, I usually write great poetry and read good books and have deep, life questioning and wondering thoughts. But, again, the downside is if the thoughts begin to take over my sanity and I just can't sleep.

#4: Sleeplessness
I don't think I need to say more than that.

Anyway, the point is, I love being a nightowl, but at times, I wish I had a friend who was also one with me.

Are any of you like this? If so, please let me know! Maybe we can talk to one another some late night!

With Love,
Florence 🌻