Someday

Ok, so, this is going to be another kinda serious post, but hopefully it's the last one for a while!

Here goes...

Dear Father,

I've grown and learned so much. I bet I'm nothing like you thought I would be. Then again, considering how much I'm supposedly like you, maybe I'm exactly how you pictured me turning out.

I still have my birthmark. I was supposed to get it taken off because a lot of people thought I should, but I happen to like it quite a bit. I didn't used to, and for a while I thought it was cancerous, but it isn't so I get to keep it.

I have my own sense of style. I write poetry more than songs, but I do both. I'm kind of a hippie though, just like my mom back when you guys were closer, so I picked that up from her. (Save the trees! Hahah) I'm a pretty great artist, and have loads of potential, but my passion is in writing more than drawing. Oh, and in music! I've been playing the violin for about... oh my god. 10 years now! I'm not great because I don't practice too much, but I'm definitely not terrible! I was always second chair to one of my good friends. I was also in marching band and played in the Drumline. My first year, I surpassed some who had been there for 3 and then was a section leader alongside my good friend my second year (Senior Year). I want to learn to play the drums because of it; like, in a drumset.
I would also love to be in a band since I love to sing as well. Oh well, that's a far reach, but I can dream!

I have a lovely boyfriend of 2 years, but my first boyfriend ripped my heart to pieces and to this day, nearly all the poetry I write is laced with bits of him. It really sucked, but I'm happy now with Patrick.

I don't live with my mom and dad anymore, I live with a roommate in a little house and we get along alright. I'm just messy and forgetful and she's the opposite, but we do ok as roomies. :)

I heard you moved to Tucson. That's a bit scary, but also cool because, hopefully, I can finally meet you sometime soon. I'm thinking I'm going to wait until I'm 21 later on this year before I start planning that out. (Yea, I'm gonna be 21. Even I can't comprehend it!)

To be honest, when I was younger, I was sad and a bit pissed that I didn't know you. I felt left out because, even though my brother and sister's father was a piece of garbage to my mom and to all of us, my brother and sister had a dad. I was always the outcast and the one who had to be the adult. But, when my mom met my dad, Rickey, she was so happy! When I changed my last name, I was happy too because I finally had someone who could help raise me and be the person I needed them to be. Hell, same went for all of us.

I don't blame you for anything. In fact, now that I'm older, I actually commend you. Instead of being truly selfish and trying to stick around and keep me because you "have rights" to me, you decided to give me up because you knew that's what was best. I don't know if that's true, but it's what mom told me so I think it's safe to assume she's telling the truth.

So, thank you. I would love to get together with you and just see what you're like and how we're alike. Mom says I talk with my hands and facial expressions the same way you do. I find that kind of funny since I don't know you, but hey, genetics are strange!

Anyway. I hope you're doing well. Maybe I'll see you soon and maybe we can start some sort of friendship between one another. I'm not angry and I don't feel like you need to be completely out of my life. Maybe it'll be great and we can meet up once in a while and just talk. Maybe it'll all go downhill and we decide not to speak anymore. Who knows?! Only way to find out is to get together and have a nice chat over some coffee or tea in some sort of cafe where there's a live band or poetry slam of sorts! (There's really no other way to do it! Jk)

Regardless, I wish you all the best and look forward to meeting you someday soon.

With Love,
Florence 🌻